Tips for Writing Your Own Ketubah Text

Imagine. You are standing together under the chuppah, wedding canopy, surrounded by the people you love, as you become a legally married couple and you pledge your hearts. Central to this sacred ceremony lies the ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract that symbolizes not only legal obligations but the deep emotional connection between partners.

If you have already been out and about searching for your perfect ketubah, then you have already realized there is a lot of choices out there–which is actually very wonderful, but it is actually very confusing.

Through the years, as I sold ketubahs in a frontal Gallery shop, I began to realize that my ketubah shoppers were new to this. They lacked the experience in understanding what they were purchasing and how to decide what they wanted and/or needed.

So, let’s break it down a bit. There is ketubah art design and then, there is ketubah texts. Ketubah art is a traditional Jewish art form that has gained enormous popularity in the 20th century. In the past, American couples would not display their Jewish marriage contracts in their homes, rather, they would store them away in some drawer and out of the way. Today, beautiful ketubahs are proudly hanging in a prominent spot in homes, for all to admire.

Ketubah Art Designs

Ketubah art design options by Jewish artists are abundant. There is something for everyone; fine-art print ketubahs, papercut ketubahs, artistic reproductions of historic ketubahs and for those with a much more generous budget and time frame: handmade custom ketubahs. The list of artistic techniques and styles goes on and on. From traditional wedding ketubah motifs to abstract minimalist ketubah composition. So much to look at. It is just a matter of choosing one beautiful ketubah that you and your partner love (or can agree on :).

Ketubah Texts

The second part of the equation is the ketubah text. Once you have decided on the artwork, you are ready for choosing an appropriate text. And, there are many many texts available.

For the Orthodox and (many) Conservative ceremonies, the choice may be very simple. Your rabbi or officiant will provide or suggest a requisite text in Aramaic. There may be an option for an English (or any other language) translation or codicil; however, it must be a choice that receives the approval of the officiant.

For Reconstructionist or Reform ketubahs, interfaith ketubahs, secular-humanist or same-sex ketubahs, there is a wide range of beautifully-worded texts that ketubah artists provide. Should you need a few words changed or added, there should be only a minimal fee (or none) required.

Writing Your Own Ketubah

If you still haven’t found a ketubah text that resonates with you, you might consider writing your own custom ketubah text. This is an option that can be exciting for some. Creating a custom ketubah -text is a meaningful and personal process that reflects the uniqueness of the couple. Here’s how you could start out:

1. Research and Understand: Begin by familiarizing yourself with the traditional elements and significance of a ketubah. Understand its role in Jewish weddings and the customary obligations it includes.
2. Reflect on Your Relationship: Take time with your partner to reflect on your relationship. Consider the core values, promises, and commitments that define your partnership. Think about what makes your relationship unique and how you envision your future together.
3. Choose a Framework: Decide on the style of text you prefer. You might opt for a traditional format, a modern interpretation, or a combination of both. Consider whether you want to include religious, cultural, or spiritual elements.
4. List Key Elements: Draft a list of elements you want to include in your ketubah text. These could be promises of love and support, shared goals, or specific commitments to each other.
5. Draft Your Text: Start drafting your text by weaving your reflections and chosen elements into a narrative. Use inclusive language that resonates with both partners.
6. Seek Inspiration: Look for inspiration from examples of other ketubah texts. You can incorporate phrases or styles that resonate with you, but ensure the final text remains personal and unique to your relationship.
7. Consult with an Expert: If needed, consult with your rabbi, wedding officiant, or a ketubah artist who can provide guidance and insights, ensuring your text aligns with your chosen tradition and personal preferences.
8. Review and Revise: Review the draft together, making any necessary revisions. Ensure both partners are happy with the wording and that it truly captures your shared vision.
9. Finalize the Text: Once satisfied, finalize your text and work with your ketubah artist to incorporate it into the design. Double-check for any errors in names, dates, or details before printing.
10. Enjoy the Process: Remember that creating your ketubah text is a collaborative and creative process that should be enjoyed. It’s a meaningful part of your wedding journey that captures your unique story.

Today’s couples seek ways to make the modern ketubah celebrate their own unique relationship. A custom ketubah -text is a wonderful option for those that this is high priority. These texts open the door to a flexibility, allowing you to maintain the document’s legal and spiritual integrity while expressing your individuality.

Personalized Ketubah Texts vs. Custom ketubah Texts

There exists a widespread confusion over personalized ketubahs and custom text ketubahs. They do sound like they should be the same thing, but in the “ketubah world” they are two different things. I hope to clarify this, here.

A custom ketubah text is, your own wording for your marriage contract, while personalization is your details: your names, date and location of your wedding. If you order one of the texts that your ketubah artist offers, it will come with appropriate spaces where your names, date and the location of your wedding will be filled in by pen at the ketubah signing ceremony. If you order your ketubah with a personalization option, than the artist will have incorporated all your wedding details seamlessly into the ketubah text.

Personalization is an option and an aesthetic decision. There is usually an additional fee for this and involves a process of confirmations till it is complete. To be clear, with personalization, the rabbi/officiant and the witnesses’ names are never specified, as you cannot be sure about last minute changes. Only the signature lines are ever provided.

If you have ordered a custom ketubah -text, then the personalization costs are most likely included in the cost.

A wedding ketubah blends the timeless beauty of ancient Jewish art with the couple’s distinctive narrative. Whether it’s a papercut ketubah by an Israeli artist or part of an exclusive collection, these maintain their integrity while reflecting love’s vibrant spectrum. Incorporating brilliant colors and individual prints, ketubah art underscore a wedding tradition that honors both heritage and individuality.

No matter what you decide: Traditional texts, modern ketubah texts, or unique self-written texts; personalization details or fill-in spaces, a ketubah balances tradition with individual stories, creating a meaningful connection to Jewish heritage. Whether it’s through papercut designs, Israeli artist collaborations, or custom commissions, the ketubah stands as a brilliant color palette of heritage and modernity. These exquisite pieces become the most cherished part of the wedding day and beyond. In times of conflict and unity, the ketubah remains a beacon of love and commitment.