Choosing Your Ketubah Text
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Choosing your ketubah is a wonderful journey of self -exploration and defining yourselves as a couple. I kid you not! Read on. I shall make my case.
Although, at one point it may have seemed like a small endeavor in comparison to the many decisions that you have had to make (setting a day, month, year, picking a venue, dress, photographer, …) in the planning of your wedding ceremony and celebration. Now, purchasing a ketubah online might possibly seem to you like Mission Impossible.
A note of positivity. Many couples report that choosing their text was actually a wonderful experience. It took them by surprise to discover that selecting their text gave them the opportunity to sit back, reflect and talk about what they envisioned and anticipated would be the fruits of their union. It became a contemplative moment in the midst of the frantic activity of planning the event to imagine just what their future lives together could look like and to be aware of being mindful of their partner’s individuality, what she/he brings to the partnership, as well as, their mutuality and congruities.
The first thing to know about the ketubah text is that it is a legal Jewish marriage contract and therefore, it reads like a legal document. It begins with establishing the day, month, year and city/location of when/ where the wedding takes place in the very first sentence. It records the exact names of the couple. In its original form, the concept of a ketubah was for the groom to very publicly agree to a list of duties and obligations to his future spouse in a written document, signed by two witnesses. Contrary to what is commonly believed, a dowry was not an essential part of the agreement. Rather, a particular mention was made of an agreed-upon sum of money to be awarded to the wife on the untimely occasion of her widowhood or divorce. It served as a protection for women who lived in a time, where they were, for the most part, financially dependent and with little societal resources. It was signed only by two Sabbath-observing males (not the groom, nor the bride, nor the rabbi!) who were not family relations of the groom and which made it legal and binding.
The Orthodox ketubah text is, in both word and meaning, very much as it once was centuries ago. Today there is a standardized text approved by the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) which includes the Hebrew date as well as the date according to the Gregorian calendar. Even though it is pretty much accepted, there may be words or even a particular spelling of words (or names) that your rabbi considers to be necessary. No worries; we can accommodate these requests and modifications.
Today, many Orthodox officiants are happy and willing to give their consent to, in an addition to the Aramaic text, an English codicil – a declaration: of love, companionship, mutual respect and honor and of the spiritual and other aspirations of the couple. So, definitely have a talk with your rabbi to come to an understanding what you and she/he require.
The Conservative text is also a traditional Aramaic text and will -most often include- the “Lieberman clause”. This is embedded in the Aramaic and its aim is to prevent the proliferation of agunot (women who have not been granted a get- a divorce in the Beit Din, the rabbinical court, according to the Jewish Law). Most Conservative clergy will request this; but once again, speak with your rabbi about the specifics of the text. We offer the Aramaic text with several different options for an English addendum: those that articulate the wishes of loving friends and life partners: of the promise of their humanistic, spiritual and egalitarian intentions and the support that they offer one another.
Reform texts can range from the more customary (albeit, egalitarian!) to a more contemporary and deeply personal phrasing. The ketubah is written in Hebrew with a translation to English –or any other language, for that matter. If you are having a Reform ceremony, you will have a whole lot more leeway in choosing your text. Still, have we not said this before? Speak to your officiant, because a ketubah text surprise (!) is the last thing you want when you are standing under the chuppah.
Additionally, we offer many other ketubah texts suitable for Sephardic, Modern-Egalitarian, Human Secular, Interfaith, Same-sex and Anniversary ceremonies. We think you will find a text, here, that will suit you perfectly. Can’t find one that’s just right for you? Need a custom text? Let us know.
Any questions at all, just contact us and we will be happy to help.
The Conservative text of the RA (Rabbinical Assembly) includes the Lieberman Clause (embedded in the Aramaic text), which serves as a deterrent to the issue of agunot. The Aramaic Conservative text is always a constant but, we offer a variety of English texts which serve, essentially, as a codicil.
The Orthodox texts we offer include that of the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA), the United Synagogue of London and the Chabad–all in Aramaic only. Some American Orthodox rabbis may be willing to accept the RCA with a codicil in English. We highly recommend that you check the text with your officiating rabbi.
We offer a selection of Reform texts in Hebrew with a translation to English. Jewish heritage and faith are usually prominent with an emphasis on a mutual and equal commitment.
The Sephardic texts are traditional texts and may be varied in wording. Therefore, we suggest that you consult with the officiating rabbi. If your rabbi requires a text, other than what you see on our website, contact us (we have more Sephardic text options).
We offer a wide range of Modern texts. The texts are in Hebrew of which the English text is identical in spirit but not literal translation. The emphasis of these texts, is one of a marriage built on the principles of an equal and mutual commitment. Can be ordered in Hebrew only or English only. These texts may also be used for interfaith marriages, as well.
The emphasis of this text is a recognition and mutual respect for diversity in faith and heritages and the willingness to create a home which honors both partner’s beliefs and customs. The English text is a translation of the Hebrew.
We offer two versions of the Secular Humanist texts, approved by the Association of Humanistic Rabbis and the Leadership Conference of Secular and Humanistic Jews, in Hebrew with a translation to English.
A ketubah text written in same-gender language appropriate for same-sex marriages. The Hebrew and English texts are identical is spirit (but not literal translations) and may be ordered in English only, or, Hebrew only. Some of the Egalitarian and Secular humanist texts we offer are gender-neutral and may be appropriate, as well.
The emphasis of these texts is the desire and willingness of the couple to grow and encourage spiritual growth in each other and their surroundings. There are references to ritual and heritage, rather than to Judaism.
These texts are suited for couples who are celebrating a milestone in their marriages or renewing their vows. In Hebrew with an English translation or may be ordered in Hebrew only, or English only. Alternatively, you can send us your own text.