The Jewish Wedding: The Ketubah Signing
Details. Details. Details! The ketubah signing ceremony may seem like a small detail compared to the overall excitement of a Jewish wedding ceremony, but it is the signing of the Jewish wedding contract that makes the marriage legal and binding according to Jewish law—an ancient tradition from ancient times to the present day. Not to mention, that the signing of the ketubah is one of the most emotional and memorable of all the Jewish wedding customs.
A bit of Essential Info about Ketubahs
There has never existed one “true” text of the Jewish marriage contract. Yet with all the geographic disparity and local customs of the various Jewish communities spread throughout the world, the ketubah’s contents and substance have been/are virtually the same and have remained the same till modern times.
The traditional ketubot of today continue to include stipulations of the groom’s obligations to his wife, plus the afore-agreed upon sum, to be paid to his wife, if the groom should prematurely pass or, alternatively, should the marriage end in divorce. Aside from being a legal document attesting to a marriage that has taken place between a Jewish woman and man, it also serves as a prenuptial agreement protecting the wife’s financial status. In the US, some Orthodox rabbis are permitting an additional codicil in English which expresses a more modern-ish view of marriage based on love and mutual respect.
Given the fact that, women are, for the most part, financially independent today, modern ketubahs tend to be more of a statement of love and commitment: including the hopes, values, vows and aspirations of the married couple for building a Jewish home, and how they envision that which their union will bring into fruition. An interfaith ketubah very often will contain, as well, an expression of the interfaith couple’s heartfelt intent to honor and/or blend their traditions, creating a home of harmony and mutual respect for diversity in customs and faith.
Just like the wedding ceremony, itself, the texts are varied, to say the very least, and a lot depends on the couple and their officiant.
Where, When and Who Signs the ketubah
In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the traditional ketubah signing takes place in a secluded area where the attendees are the Rabbi, the fathers of the bride and groom, male family members and a few close male friends. Usually, this takes place on the wedding day- at the wedding venue, immediately before the Bedeken (Veiling ceremony) and chuppah ceremony, however, the ketubah signing may take place in a completely separate location and at an earlier time.
The officiating rabbi will present the Jewish marriage contract to the groom and two witnesses, whom the groom has appointed. This special honor is most often reserved for revered friends or teachers. Furthermore, the two witnesses must be male men (post-bar mitzvah), unrelated to either the bride or the groom and be Sabbath observers. Their names will be on this most important document that will remain with the married couple for the rest of their lives together.
The content of the ketubah is read, examined and approved and the signing then takes place. At this point, the ketubah witnesses sign their names and the marriage is validated. The Rabbi and the groom may-but not necessarily- sign the ketubah. And, later on under the chuppah, the ketubah is read aloud in front of all the wedding guests and then given to the bride, who in turn, gives it to one of her family members (usually the bride’s mother) who will hold on to it for safekeeping.
Jewish weddings have many many variations to the ketubah signing ceremony. This is determined by prevailing local customs, the community you are part of and, of course, always the couple’s preferences. Some observant communities are now including the bride and female family members and close friends to be present at the ketubah signing– though the bride will not be permitted to sign the ketubah.
Since the 20th century, modern Jewish weddings have embraced an egalitarian view of this tradition. Now, not only is the ketubah signed by both the bride and groom and the rabbi or officiant (who very possibly are female) and two or more (I have seen 20 very crowded witness signatures on one ketubah!) witnesses of the couple’s choosing: male, female, adults– be they Sabbath observers or agnostics…
Whether or not a non-Jewish person can be a witness is a decision that your rabbi/ officiant might want to have a say in.
Lately, there is a trend back to doing the ketubah signing in a separate pre-wedding occasion before the day of the wedding ceremony; making it a more public (or private, as you will) event.
Another twist on the ketubah signing is making it part of the rehearsal dinner. The ketubah and what has been so carefully and meaningfully written in it take center stage and bring a great poignancy and spirit to the evening. The witness signing also takes on a festive vibe, too.
Danny Azoulay Ketubahs
Daniel Azoulay is a ketubah artist who has a deep understanding of the significance of this much venerated Jewish legal document. He knows that the ketubah is so very much more than a marriage contract and understands its place in Jewish tradition and all its changes and the nuances of those changes that have unfolded. Making ketubahs isn’t just an offshoot of his artistic expression; it is an act of making art pieces that matter a great great deal to the wedding couple. Danny Azoulay papercut ketubahs are beautiful art ketubahs but they are also a very personal visual expression of the sanctity of the love of the brides and the grooms who sign them. His are ketubahs that will be treasured for years on. He offers a wide range of Ketubah texts and designs to accommodate all prevailing Jewish wedding customs.
